from the brain of an arrogant dyke who acts like a fag

childoftheabyss @ 2009-12-20T16:25:00

2009-12-20T21:25:39Z

as of 11:11 pm last night, i have existed for a quarter century {ignoring the extra days of each leap year. i don't feel any older, maybe because i've already felt old. people laugh at me when i say i'm getting old, but i've had the - most likely irrational - feeling that i probably won't live to an old age.

in other news, i got free admission into the magic kingdom because it was my birthday. when i was 10 or so i couldn't understand why my parents wouldn't take my sister and i to disney world, and now i know why. the cost is astronomical for a place that really has rides that are just about as good as the rides at seabreeze - rochester's tiny little amusement park. and the crowds are horrible. i, like my mother, am extremely irritated by big, rude, pushy, noisy crowds. i'm glad to have gone and had a decent amount of fun while i was there, but it really is not the awesome place i imagined when i was a child. it's a good thing i lost that delusion years ago. i was not disappointed.

Writer's Block: James Cameron’s AVATAR

2009-12-19T04:52:57Z

James Cameron’s AVATAR is in theaters today. What about this movie interests you the most?

Sponsored by AVATAR. In theaters December 18. Buy tickets now.

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NOTHING.

childoftheabyss @ 2009-12-02T22:17:00

2009-12-03T03:18:01Z

i am seriously out of patience. i'm out of patience with the united states. i really don't know how much more of this constant asininity i can take. the united states can go fuck itself. and just in case big brother is actually monitoring us still, don't take that as a threat. i don't have any patience for the fucking psycho muslims either. i hope i can just get out of this country before your holy war goes full force. then i hope all your right wing christians and all you fundamentalist muslims bomb each other into oblivion because i am so sick of the world. there's no sense in trying to make things better. i'll ride out the rest of my time in florida and then i am OUT.

childoftheabyss @ 2009-11-23T14:45:00

2009-11-23T19:46:28Z

even though i probably don't need it, i've decided to take some naproxen sodium in hopes of relieving the tension in my jaw, which has such a severe case of tmj now that the left side frequently sticks and i have to pop it out with my hands. this, as one might imagine, causes aching on the sides of my head. so i guess i'll give in and medicate. i need to be on my game and keep impressing my boss to make sure i keep getting sufficient hours. such is life. now off to work i go.

Writer's Block: It's Never Too Early...

2009-11-23T19:35:37Z

Black Friday is the unofficial kickoff to the holiday shopping season. When are you planning on beginning your holiday shopping?

Sponsored by Best Buy. Find holiday gifts for everyone on your list.

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holiday shopping is for tools.

childoftheabyss @ 2009-11-16T15:05:00

2009-11-16T20:05:58Z

i just realized that yesterday i said i'll call chase when he got out of school.

yesterday was sunday.

i don't know what day if the week it is. that's pathetic.

childoftheabyss @ 2009-11-15T16:23:00

2009-11-15T21:24:04Z

my little brother turns 10 today. i'm slightly sad that i can't be there for him for his birthday, but the thought of riding on a plane is about as appealing as doing shots of hot sauce. it's uncomfortable, not enjoyable, and makes me head hurt. i'll give him a call in a few since he probably just got home from school.

i was reflecting on how he was born exactly ten years ago. then it occurred to me that it wasn't exactly ten years ago, since the calender is inaccurate. the obsession with splitting days into 24 hours does not completely reflect the actual length of a day, i remember reading somewhere it's more along the lines of 25 hours. also that a year is something akin to 365 and 1/4 days in length. which is why every four years is a leap year and has an extra day. now i'd have to double check this, and it would require math that due to this headache, i simply can't do right now. but going along with the 24 hour days and 365 of them in a year, my brother was actually born 3653 days ago as opposed to an even 3650. now if i could think right now and felt like looking things up, i could figure out accurately the exact date that would have been 10 complete cycles of the sun since he was born. then again, time is just a measurement, so the thing that really blows my mind is how he's already so big.

childoftheabyss @ 2009-11-15T16:10:00

2009-11-15T21:11:21Z

this guy is on tv right now. i always thought he was cool, but it bothered me slightly that his shoulders go above his face.

i guess his name is gossamer.

Writer's Block: Talking Turkey

2009-11-13T04:31:11Z

How will you use technology or the Internet to help you plan and prepare this year’s Thanksgiving feast?

Sponsored by LifeScoop: Bringing You Tips for a Connected Lifestyle.

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we'll make food if we feel like it. i can't "feast" my stomach won't allow it. i'll probably use the internet to bitch about how the english came over and just claimed land that was already claimed for their own like most white people.

childoftheabyss @ 2009-11-02T11:38:00

2009-11-02T17:00:52Z

orion decided to potty on the carpet again, not even an inch away from the litter box. then he decided to chomp down on a stray q-tip and i had to pull the cotton out of his mouth.

i've got a bunch of things to do today.

my trip back home was cool. or should i say cold since in was in the 30's the entire time we were there. mal and i had both never been on a plane before, and i was both nervous and excited at the same time. the plane taking off was a cool feeling and there was free satellite radio, which i promptly turned to the jazz station to keep me mellow. flying over florida was nuts because all i could see after a certain height was lakes, and then we broke through the clouds which was an amazing sight. then we hit some turbulence and every time the plane dipped down i could feel a split second of weightlessness which startled me each time. we then prepared to land in baltimore fpor the lay over which looked really cool and night but the circling made my head spin. then on to the secong flight into rochester which for some reason put a lot of pressure on my sinuses and made my head hurt. then my mom picked us up to bring us back to my parents house where my little brother was still awake and waiting for us.

my parents allowed me to use their van to drive around rochester. we first got coffee at equal grounds, the gay coffee shop on south ave with mal's grandmother and friend christa. then we got dinner with mal's other grandmother and little cousin. the next day mal grabbed lunch with her dad and chilled with my family before heading out to the haunyted hayride with my friends anna and dan. ..which happens to be a good 20 minute drive into middle of nowhere farmland in the next county which was hilarious as opposed to scary. the downside was a country folk duo playing songs that had nothing to do with halloween and a drunken bitch who nearly got in a fight with us. then back home where my sister and her two guyfriends had recently arrived from their drive up from purchase, ny and we went to vertex and danced a bit. the next morning we all went to brunch with my grandmother and my friend carolyn, took various pictures at my mother's behest and then my dad took us to the airport where we took two unevenful but very loud flights....the particular planes we were on happened to have very loud engines. i sat back listening to techno on satellite with only a minor headache.

so that's the extent of it. bow to make more coffee, because a stupid bug landed in my cup.

childoftheabyss @ 2009-10-20T18:47:00

2009-10-20T22:51:30Z

well i was going to write about my trip home but now i found out stupid geico won't just run my fucking liscence again when it's EASY FOR THEM to check if my suspension from that unpaid bill was lifted but IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME to get them the paper work. i don't know what i hate more, profit-hungry insurance companies or badly run bureaucracies. i think what i really hate is the fact that it's a law to have insurance but you MUST buy from a private company.

childoftheabyss @ 2009-10-08T16:27:00

2009-10-08T20:28:55Z

vet says the cats are both fine. they have pills and flea treatment so they will be perfectly healthy in a matter of days.

childoftheabyss @ 2009-10-07T18:27:00

2009-10-07T22:34:11Z

the cats have worms. well, demetria does by i'm sure orion does too. i should have brought them to the vet agaes ago but since they're indoor cats i thought they were ok. i feel like the worls'd worst pet owner. i have no idea how long they've had them and the things i've been reading make me feel even more anxious about it. demetria has been leaving little droplets of blood in the bathroom lately. i'm terrified for her. i'm also worried about us...if they've had them for this long and we're in constant contact with them, even though it's unlikely i'm still worried about contracting them. i've seen too mnay horror stories about parasites on house. they're going to the vet tomorrow. i'm going to ask a million questions and hopefully they're ok. i need a xanax or something. damn.

childoftheabyss @ 2009-09-30T11:43:00

2009-09-30T15:54:22Z

the intense dreams continue, but only a few nightmarish parts in each. i kept having nightmares that my coworker is out to get me, because the bitch is nuts and apparently my subconscious is terrified of her whilst my conscious mind is wary. i also dreamt i was playing a bizarre looking electronic drum kit and the guy who owned it or trying to sell it or something took away the kick pad and insisted i could play the duble bass pedal without the kick pad, and i suddenly felt a great deal of resistance while trying to play it. then he took the sticks out of my hand. i love how my mind invented an asshole to deal with in my dream. then i was about to go swimming in this huge pool and i stepped outside and it was cold.

when i stepped out of the house at 10 30 today it wasn't hot. not cold at all, but it wasn't hot. very strange.

childoftheabyss @ 2009-09-24T12:54:00

2009-09-24T17:02:20Z

i had a dream last night that i went to someone's prom, dressed in an ugly tux and i was trying to pass myself off as a man. i kept thinking i nedded to draw on a fake beard or shadow or something. i kept talking in a raspy voice and said "man" and "mother fucker" a lot. then i realized i was still wearing some eyeliner.

the dream then changed so i was on some coast and i kept gettimng hit with huge ocean waves, but there was no undercurrent so no one was worried. i some how ended up in a castle where bishops dressed as wizards were going to elect a new pope and i climbed down a rope to get away with one hand as i had a sword in the other. i then had found i was living in an oneonta dorm room where my middle-aged co worker from el salvador also lived and i was punching perfectly round wholes in oreos, chocolate chip cookies and reese's cups.

on an unrelated note, i could use a netty pot, or however it's spelled. a measuring glass just doesn't work quite as well.

muzak - the worst thing ever

2009-09-16T19:03:27Z

first of all, if you've ever shopped in a grocery store in america, you've heard music...either the instrumental shit, or generic pop songs spanning the 50's to modern day. you can hear "for the longest time" followed by beyonce's "halo". the point is, they usually pick the worst songs they can find. there are a few random good or ok songs in there, but much of it grates on the nerves.

i found this article and i agree wholeheatedly.

http://www.noisefree.org/newsroom/pressrelease-display.php?id=65.

it essentially calls for grocery stores to tone down the damn noise. you know what else would help aside from no music and no overhead pages? studio quality silencing pads. these can be as simple as odd shaped foam pieces or carpet/cloth covered wooden appendages that hang down from the ceiling and reduce the head space. do we seriously need to see the factory ceiling? the bare bones of support beams and wires and air ducts? fuck no! high ceilings also waste a ton of electricity since you have that much more space that needs to be lit, heated or cooled.

also, if they're going to INSIST on playing music, why can't they switch it up a bit from the banality? this link display's muzak's electronica playlists

http://music.muzak.com/music/programs/genre/5/electronica/

they've also got reggae, jazz, rock....you could mix up any of these, so that way if one type of music irritates someone the next song will be completely different. also they really need to turn down the treble on these things, and some of the mid tone, because all you get is high pitched resonance.

but no, we get "california dreaming" followed by "another cup of coffee". we get easy listening top 40. and don't even get me started on holiday music. someone save us from this madness!

Writer's Block: The truth is out there ...

2009-09-12T23:42:51Z

If someone discusses UFOs at a party, do you assume they're a visionary or bonkers? Do you consider yourself a believer or a skeptic?

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hahaha i haven't heard anyone say "bonkers" in ages. the person who came up with this question might be from england.

if i'm at a party and someone's talking about ufo's, i usually just assume they're a bit intoxicated and istead of purporting a theory, they end up sounding nuts. especially if it's followed by a "yeah, man." while i am always a bit skeptical on many subjects, there is enough minute details that suggest life from other planets is entirely possible. the question is whether it has attempted to contact, study or acknowledge us. first, the universe is much to large to simply say there's no way there's any life on other planets outside our solar system. second, bacteria has been found on mars which suggests than organic life can exist in other conditions than what we know on earth. third, i watched an episode of nova a while back where astronomers had set up a system that beamed a simple transmission in different frequencies into space and they had picked up a garbleed transmission on a frequency not used by stations around the globe, so they considered it the closest thing they had to give clout to their theories of other intelligent life. it's always an interesting subject. but when a stoned kid starts talking about ufo's, i'm, probably going to think they're "bonkers."

childoftheabyss @ 2009-09-01T15:14:00

2009-09-01T19:42:45Z

i've been in florida three months. in that time i've done some fun things and explored and sat home hiding from the world. in that time i have yet to go swimming even though i've meant to, haha. and i've also worked at one of the most ridiculous jobs i've ever had. i feel that just yesterday i was eating pancakes with my family and getting ready to drive 1300 miles. and at the same time it feels like ages ago. i often say this about past events...that it's as though it just happens and still feels like a century has passed. i suspect this is due to the way my brain processes time.

mal's started school and i have a great deal of faith in the program that i didn't when we first were p-lanning to come down here. her audio professor has worked all over the industry and is more than willing to tell his students straight forward what to do to get a job in the industry. he also mentioned that in other countries at the moment the industry is growing and the labor laws are better in places such as canada, where specific job descriptions are given and one can legally say "that's not my job" when ordered to do random shit. this is partcularly exciting because of out of all the places we may go next to pursue our careers, toronto is at thetop of my list. it's a beautiful, clean, diverse, liberal, huge city and hosts all sorts of media - music, tv, movies, news. although the winter will be crappy, i could definitely live there. plus it's only 4 hours away from my family so i could drive down and see them any time i felt like it. but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. in the meantime i'm enjoying hardly ever being cold and being surrounded by beautiful sub-tropical scenery.

i would very much like to visit home for a few days. however, i'd have to pick a random date because i've just found out that i can't ask off holidays from work...it's unlikely they'll give it to me. normally i wouldn't care because i don't give a shit about holidays [except halloween] but that's when mal has off from school and her work study and it would make my mom happy. plus everyone else in the world gets holidays off but because i'm a wqorking class douche i don't get it. how fun.

well i'll fiugure all that out later. right now i need to run downstairs and close my car windows before that car gets soaked....again.

Writer's Block: Thanks to Technology…

2009-08-26T16:45:31Z

What are some things you can do today because of technology that you couldn't do five years ago?

Presented by Intel, Sponsors of Tomorrow.

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i love this because anything "thrilling" that was invented 5 years ago i don't have. i don't have an ipod or an mp3 player...not that it matters, i'm never in a car for too long or feel the need to hear music every 5 minutes, i don't have an iphone or blackberry, i don't go online on my phone, i don't make phone calls from my car's onstar or whatever all that is that geos don't have, i don't have a gps, or a playstation 3, and xbox 360....granted mal has a few of these objects but i have no serious use for them. i got mal her ipod because she loves music. she says "you'd probably break it anyway." which is a good point, since i'm the queen of busted cellphones. until something truly revolutionary comes around instead of recycled versions of things that have essentially existed since 2001, i'll probably be a little behind on the technology.

Writer's Block: Going Without

2009-08-22T17:00:31Z

Have you ever fasted or done a cleanse?

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does it count that when we were really poor i'd go a great majority of the day without eating?

when you don't eat your body starts using fuel stored in the liver, then the muscle tissues, and then fat storage. starving people lose lots of muscle mass in addition to lost fat. the stomach will eventually begin to atrophy and the sensation of thrist will be reduced, so dehydration is likely.

although lower calorie intake has benefits, some physicians have recommend alternate day fasting to avoid significant nutrient loss. the body goes to the liver for fuel only 4-8 hours after one's last meal.

i feel fasting to "cleanse" the body is unwise, since you're just denying yourself nutrients and there's really nothing clean about your body breaking itself down. religious fasting is simply another show of the maschoism people are willing to put themselves through to feel closer to god. between denying oneself, restrictions and waiting with joy for the apocalypse, it seems like a lot of christians and muslims really hate themselves. as for fasting in other religions, i just wonder how much clarity one can get when hungry...i know when i'm hungry, i don't think right.

also, while i find it reprehensible and offensive that there are so many fat people out there when the world is starving, i also find it disturbing that people are willing stave themselves to feel closer to something invisble when so many people would kill for just a bowl of rice.

if you want to "cleanse" your body, eat heealthier foods, eat a little less and get some exercise. you will metabolize better, you'll feel better, you'll actually be healthy.

hunger is really no joke.

zombie woman

2009-08-21T17:36:30Z

the night before work yesterday i went to bed early. i fell asleep around 9:30-10. when i got up at 5, i felt like someone had hit me with a sledgehammer.

the last time i really complained about work i was having a hormonal influx and therefore felt the need to hate on myself, yesterday i was less in the mood for self loathing and more in the mood to reflect that after years of insomnia, now that i can finally sleep it doesn't mean i'll wake up refreshed. take today, for example..i got about 10 hours of sleep and woke up with mad back pain and am still moving about sluggishy even after coffee. i noticed something interesting yesterday: i felt like i was partially dreaming while i was awake. the idea of being half asleep comes from the fact that the brain falls asleep from front to back and wakes up back to front. so i suppose i was a quarter asleep during work. getting up an hour earlier than i usually do for work threw me off. it then occured to me that every shift i've worked has started no later than 8, typically starting at 7. during high school when i had to get up at 6 it took me a good two hours before i really felt awake, and even then all i was doing was sitting in class so it didn't take much energy. my mother, sister and brother all have issues waking up early. i've decided i'm going to blame my supposedly slow behavior on this rather than anything else, and if work doesn't like it, they can suck it.

Writer's Block: Theme Dining

2009-08-15T22:21:16Z

If you were to open your own theme restaurant, what would the theme be and how would you express it to the customers?

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i'd make the "big gay restaurant" and anytime any heteros were in there acting straight, we'd go up to them and say "excuse us but would you terribly mind toning it down? you're distracting and upsetting our customers" and then kick them out when they argued. HA.

childoftheabyss @ 2009-08-07T11:31:00

2009-08-07T16:10:12Z

having season passes to universal is great, it's like a being a kid again. not because the cheesy touristy crap and attractions bring out the "inner child" or whatever crap people usually attritubute to it, but because when i was a child i went to "fun camp"...which was webster, NY's recreation program for summer days. i believe i went from the age of 5 to 14, and we took several field trips. we would go to local amusement parks like seabreeze and darien lake, as well as parks and miniature golf and whatnot. so being able to see everything at universal in 3 trips is nice...there's no rush to get anuything done, and anything we miss we'll get to the next time we go.

childoftheabyss @ 2009-08-01T18:41:00

2009-08-01T22:52:46Z

i love this orkin commercial where the giant roach tries to get in the house by delivering pizza. just the way they talk is hilarious. the roach has the pitch of barry white and talks in a near whisper and the lady responds in the same volume voice looking confused and terrified....like the roach is a minority in steet clothes about to hold her up. it's so ridiculous. the "nice" white lady in her big house terrified of the big brown stranger. then the tall black orkin bodyguard stands out front and makes it drive away in a big old cadillac like a bat out of hell. twisted hilarity.

perhaps i also laugh at it because the apartment had to be sprayed twice for roaches in the first two weeks we were here...and at universal two weeks ago, i saw the biggest fucking roach i have ever seen in my life juust chillin in broad daylight. ironically, the bastard insects are some of the least likely to actually damage anything....they just mean you're dirty, or the person who lived there before you was.

Writer's Block: Birthday Shout-out

2009-07-31T16:57:59Z

Happy birthday, J.K. Rowling! Which of her seven Harry Potter novels do you think is the most satisfying read?

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i like the prisoner of azkaban best. time travel, foreshadowing, lots of interesting things revealed and a big plot twist. definitely the best. also happens to be the movie that's most like the book, that and the second, the rest cut out and changed things too much. i like order of the phoenix the least, but mostly because it made me very angry, which is the point of the book - a government intent on lying to people, abuse of power, totalitarianism, favoritism, the constant suppression of the truth, like it was written with american politics in mind. the more subtle plot points of the half blood prince didn't translate well on to the screen, the book was as good as any of them. the sorcerer's stone was brilliant in introducing the world but the rest of the books have had stronger plots. chamber of secrets was a good mystery novel. the goblet of fire was also a great book and the movie made of it did not do it justice. i liked the departure from the formula in the deathly hallows, but i felt the final scene was far too short. also, the epilouge was a bit dispapointing.

i believe i got the first three books when i was 13 or 14 for my birthday and christmas, about a year before the whole thing became a franchise and the movies were made. despite the hype, the books are a good read. the characters come off a believable individuals despite being from a fantasy world and they're hard to put downm once you get reading, something i greatly value in a book.

and that's about it for my rambling.